


In My Dreams, All I See Is You

by DestielHardcoreLove



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Gen, Glenn and Abraham are still alive, Good Sibling Merle Dixon, M/M, Negan may or may not exist, Reunions, Season 9 Does not exist, lovers before the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-09-02 20:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16794136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove
Summary: Daryl couldn't explain it.  There was just something about the man who jumped out at him from the alley and instantly swiped at his face with his leg.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was heavily inspired by Mugatu's Ripples on a Black Shore and DarylsBabyGirl's Daryl Has a Husband. I absolutely love the idea of the two of them knowing each other before the apocalypse. 
> 
> This is a WIP that I have no clue how long it will be that I will try to post every other Friday!
> 
> Find me on tumbler @bugandkitlove
> 
> As always, comments are food to a writer's soul so please let me know what you think!

* * *

_ “Hey Dar?”  _

_ “Yeah baby?” _

_ “You know I love you right?” _

_ “Mmhmm.” _

_ “You love me?” _

_ “Don’t be stupid.” _

_ “Tell me.” _

_ “Of course I do.” _

_ “Good...that’s...that’s good.” _

Daryl jerked awake, the sounds of the woods finally coming back to him tenfold. He’d spent the last few nights hunting outside the walls of Alexandria with little to nothing to show for. It was extremely frustrating but with the weather getting cooler it only meant that he’d have even a harder time finding anything more than rabbits. 

“Damn,” he grunted as he sat up slowly, the trunk of the tree was not the greatest of places to rest against but it was either that or become walker food. He started to untie the rope he had tied around himself and the branch he’d settled on when he stopped, that voice from his dreams stilling ringing in his ears. It had been so long since he had last heard that voice. Even after all this time it still had his chest aching with a deep longing. He let out a shuddering breath as he reached for his crossbow. Hidden inside the scope was a ring. It was plain and once had been a pretty silver but now it was a bit tarnished, the engraving on the inside nearly unrecognizable. Daryl could still see it though. 

_ D & P _

There was another one just like it out there, probably on the left hand of a decrepit walker. Daryl squeezed his eyes closed at the very thought. 

Sometimes he loved when he would dream of him, of their life together before everything turned to shit. Other times, he wished it would just end. The memories always left him uncomfortable and twitchy for days. Rick and the others would try to ask but after so long, they finally learned to back off. To let him stew until he was somewhat back to his normal self. Only Carol seemed to read things deeper. She never did ask though, just gave him that knowing smile of hers and would brush the hair off his forehead. She was probably the only person he let that close to him these days. The last one had been Beth and that was another one he couldn’t afford to think of when he was out in the woods, alone.

“Nut up Dixon,” he growled at himself as he dropped from the branch, landing with a thud and a grunt. His ankle protested a little but he shook it off. There were things to do, traps to check and reset. It was about time he returned anyway. He’d told Rick and Michonne he would only be out here for three days and that had been five days ago. 

Hopefully, there would be a surprise waiting for him in one of the bigger traps he had set up further out.

  
  
  


“Well, I’ll be a horses ass, damn Dixon!” 

Daryl glanced up at Abraham who was obviously on watch duty, his shoulders aching at the weight of the buck around them. The bigger traps hadn’t caught him anything though he did find a fresh set of tracks of not one but several bucks. Though he could only bag one of them, he was grateful for even that. Now he knew there were more out there and made it a goal to get back out as soon as possible.

“Open the damn gate!” Daryl hollard at the pissant staring at him through the gate. Spencer just grinned stupidly before yanking at the gate to get it open. Thankfully someone with a damn brain had called Olivia the moment they saw him and now she was on her way with a cart for the buck. Daryl nodded at her, practically threw the carcass on the trolly and grunted at the sudden freedom.

“Oh Daryl, this is amazing,” she gushed, giving him a relieved smile. Daryl nodded at her, gently patting at her arm as he passed. Their food storage was getting thin, putting a strain on the entire community. Patrols were being sent out to scavenge, even he and Rick were planned for one, though they didn’t have a date for it yet.

Aaron and Eric were out there right now and should be returning later that evening if Daryl did his math correctly. The fact that he wasn’t with them put his teeth on edge. He knew the two of them could take care of themselves, that they would hide first before confronting trouble but it still didn’t settle Daryl’s nerves. Besides his original family, Aaron and Eric had a special place under his skin. Maybe it was because it reminded him of the life he had before everything went to hell or that they were kindred spirits, Daryl had no clue. It wasn’t like he had actually  _ told _ anyone about it. 

Just thinking about it made everything hurt. Hearing those words, the last things they ever said to each other had his breath hitching and he had to stop for a second to make everything stop spinning. After all this time he should be over it...over losing his entire  _ life  _ but the pain was still there like some giant thorn in his heart.

He had to get his head back on straight but this was how it always went. First, it would begin with the dreams that would haunt him for days on end, throwing him into a restless type of panic that would only end with a lit cigarette pressed into his arm. 

“Hey, Daryl! You’re back!” 

Daryl jumped, his jumbled thoughts going wayward as he focused on none other than Rick Grimes sauntering down the road towards him. Lil Asskicker on his hip. The baby was getting bigger and the smile she always gave Daryl melted his heart, setting his restless mind at ease. With one shared look, Rick instantly handed her over. Daryl pulled her in and took in a deep breath of Judith’s fresh scent.

“Ary,” Judith giggled, her little hands patting at his face. Daryl snorted, shaking his head a little as he kissed her forehead.

“What’s up man?” Daryl asked, finally glancing at his best friend and brother. Rick gave him a soft close-lipped smile, his hands resting on his hips as he looked up and down the street.

“Just heard you brought us a buck and a score of rabbits. Wanted to thank ya personally. And lil Judy here wanted to see her favorite uncle,” Rick said with a huff. Daryl snorted.

“I thought Glenn was your favorite this week kid?” Daryl asked. Judith giggled again and shook her head before hugging around his neck.

“Only until the candy ran out that he brought back from their run,” Rick laughed. Daryl nodded, adjusting Judith a little.

“Everyone back yet?” Daryl asked. Not only were Aaron and Eric out on runs, so were Francine, Heath and several others Daryl couldn’t name. Rick sucked at his teeth and nodded, his eyes squinting a bit in the sun.

“All but Aaron and Eric. They should be back by tonight or by mornin.”

“Good,” Daryl said. Rick gave him a look but thankfully didn’t ask. Daryl continued to carry the baby until they were at the Grimes household or “headquarters” as everyone referred to it. After Deanna was buried next to her family, it became the main house where everyone gathered. Spencer moved out to wherever he was staying at now while Rick, Michonne, and Carl all moved in. Daryl had lived in the attic for a bit until the constant noise of everyone coming and going left him too restless. He returned the original house they were given, the one where Carol was still at and moved into that attic. Being too far from the woman drove him slightly insane anyway.

“Where’s Carol?” he asked suddenly. Rick frowned in thought as he glanced around.

“Probably in the armory again. After the wolf attack she’s been in there a lot lately,” Rick explained. Daryl nodded and gently eased Judith off his shoulder. She whined at him to which he growled, making her laugh brightly. Rick shook his head at them and took her back.

“Thanks man,” Daryl said lifting a hand in a wave. Rick called after him and Daryl almost pretended to not hear him but he turned anyway not able to ignore Rick even if he tried.

“Everythin go okay out there? Usually when you come back-”

“Everthins good man. Just tired. Gonna see Carol and then get washed up before she can hose me down,” Daryl joked. It had the desired effect and Rick nodded, shaking his head again as he turned to head into the house. Daryl sighed heavily, the weight returning back to his shoulders as he trudged towards the armory. Being around Rick was exhausting sometimes. He loved the guy, would die for the prick ten times over but the man loved to talk. 

Carol didn’t. Her silence was like a damn drug that Daryl very needily clung to. He was claustrophobic at the best of times but even under all that, there was an insatiable need to be around his family.

Sure enough, Carol was in the building, her eyes meeting his the moment he walked in. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it, lips upturning into that smile that eased his spirit like nothing else could. To have another person able to read him so easily was scary as fuck but God, days like today he appreciated the holy hell out of it. He shut the door and closed the distance between them, sinking down in a chair closest to her. Nothing was said between them, the only noise being their breathing and the sound of her cleaning and checking the guns. It was the calmest he’d felt all morning and before he knew it, he was asleep, slumping back against the wall. 

_ “Would you stop for a damn second and just talk to me like a grown ass man!”  _

_ “I already told you man, I can’t do this...whatever the hell this was...it was a mistake.” _

_ “You’re just a fucking coward Daryl! One word from your brother-” _

_ “Shut your mouth, I already told you this ain’t gonna happen so drop it and leave me the hell alone!” _

_ “Just give me one reason, one actual reason why.” _

_ “I just...I just  _ can’t _ be with you. I-I’m not like this.” _

“Daryl...come on wake up.”

Daryl flinched hard, his instincts to start swinging quickly soothed by Carol’s steel blue eyes peering into his. He swallowed hard and let his head clunk back against the wall as his heart tried to rabbit out of his chest. Carol gently cupped his face until he was calm and gave him that small smile of hers.

“You okay there pookie?” she asked. Daryl narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head.

“Yeah, m’good.”

“You sure?” she asked, her voice a bit more firm this time. Daryl wanted to tell her, to finally talk about him and their life together but like every other time, the words got locked up in his throat. He knew they wouldn’t judge him, wouldn’t try to throw him to the side just for being gay and being with a man. The real fear lay in the what if he talked about it and he could never recover from finally admitting to himself that it was well and truly gone?

He nodded his head, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Carol pursed her lips, nodding her head back at him before kissing his forehead.

“Go get washed up before I have to throw you in the lake,” she ordered. Daryl swallowed down the lump in his throat and raised up from the chair. On his way out, he butted his head against hers for a second and then he was headed to the house. It wasn’t exactly home, nothing ever was. 

Nothing ever  _ would _ be home to Daryl when  _ he _ wasn’t there.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

It was around mid-afternoon when Daryl stepped out of the warm bathroom, a towel wrapped tightly around his waist. He’d spent longer under the spray than he normally would but with his thoughts going every which way it didn’t really surprise him. Carol would be happy, he even took the time to trim down his beard. His hair was a lost cause and even though she tried, Daryl would bat away the woman’s hands when she would try to cut it for him. 

He found a pair of loose fitting sweats and a bulky sweater in one of the drawers of the dresser he had up in the attic and smiled. Last week Carol had gone on a run with Michonne, bringing back a car full of clothing. Some of the Alexandrians had tried to argue that it was a waste but Daryl all but silenced them with a steady glare. It didn’t go unnoticed that there was a bright, cherry red blouse in the pile Carol took for herself.

After pulling on his clothes and making sure all the lights were off, he went back into the kitchen.

“Damn woman,” Daryl scoffed. Inside the fridge were stacks of Tupperware nicely sealed and labeled. A large note taped to one of the containers reading:  _ For Pookie _ . Daryl shook his head but took out the first one. It was some kind of casserole that had his stomach growling loudly before he could even reheat it. 

The pan was in the oven with only a minute or so left when there was a knock on the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone and wondered if he could just pretend he didn’t hear it at first. Then there it was again. 

Sighing heavily he heaved himself off the stool and made his way to the door. When he opened, a small smile lifted the corner of his lips.

“You guys got back early,” Daryl said moving out of the way. A tired but freshly washed Aaron and Eric stepped inside, each of them getting a hug as they passed. 

“We saw a herd and turned back. Very courageous I know,” Aaron teased, lifting his hand in a tired wave. Daryl snorted, leading the way back into the kitchen. He didn’t need to look back to see if they were following. Eric yawned dramatically as he made himself at home, grabbing up Daryl’s jug of water to pour them each a glass. Daryl pulled out a couple more forks and stabbed them into the now warm casserole.

“No plates?” Eric asked with a quirked brow. Daryl gave him a look as he scooped some out, not even caring if it burned his mouth as he shoveled some in. Aaron choked on his water, Eric looked completely insulted and Daryl had to quickly cover his mouth to keep the food in while he snickered.

“Oh Daryl, life would be incredibly boring without you my friend,” Aaron teased, moving around to grab the few plates they kept in the cupboard.

“Babe, breathe. Here,” Aaron laughed, placing the plate in front of his husband. Daryl felt his chest tighten at how easy they were around each other and quickly turned away. There were some hushed whispers behind him but when he turned back around he was able to school his face a bit better.

“So...how was the hunting?” Eric asked. The look of concern on his friend’s face was easy to see but Daryl was grateful the man didn’t pry. He had Aaron to thank for that. 

“Good. Caught a buck,” Daryl said with a shrug. 

“We have fresh meat? Oh, I can make spaghetti!” Eric exclaimed. Aaron smiled fondly at him while Daryl huffed out a laugh. Eric’s spaghetti had been the reason why he was even close to these two. The invitation to dinner the stepping stone to helping Daryl feel just a bit more human.

“Sounds good man,” Daryl said scooping some more food into his mouth. The three of them ate at the casserole until it was finished, Daryl nearly licking the damn glass cookware clean. Even limited as they were, the ingredients Carol used to make something so delicious astounded Daryl. She was a damn magician.

“Well, it’s time for my watch,” Eric said with a tight smile. Daryl bristled, his eyes narrowing at his friend.

“You jus’ got back man...think someone else can cover,” Daryl growled out. Eric gave him a smile, his hand patting at Daryl’s arm as he got up.

“It’s alright Daryl, Rosita isn’t feeling very well and I offered. It’ll only be for a couple hours then Tara will take over,” he said. Daryl frowned, turning away when the couple shared a small kiss. 

Aaron was staring at him when Daryl finally faced him again, the look in the other man’s eyes making Daryl a little nervous. It was too knowing like Aaron could read exactly what was going on in Daryl’s mind. He flinched and quickly got up to get the glassware into the sink. Carol would skin him alive if he left it on the counter dirty again.

“Daryl...can I ask you something?” Aaron asked. Daryl flinched again, teeth gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip. It was a nervous tick of his that he could never stop, not even before the world turned to shit. He glanced over his shoulder and gave Aaron a small nod, a little terrified what the question would be.

Aaron took in a breath and from the soft brush of skin across the counter, Daryl assumed Aaron was moving closer to him. 

“I know it’s probably none of my business and you don’t have to say anything if it makes you uncomfortable,” Aaron started, his voice a lot closer than before. Daryl blinked a few times and turned a little, finding Aaron standing a couple feet from him now.

“You never talk about before. Where you came from, who you were...anything,” Aaron said softly. Daryl’s heart stopped for a split second before speeding up until the bile in his stomach started to churn dangerously. Aaron held up his hands in a pacifying manner and Daryl struggled to calm his ass down.

“The way you look at me and Eric sometimes...it just makes me wonder-”

“Wonder what?” Daryl barked out, eyes squinting. Aaron smiled a little, his head shaking as he took another step closer. 

“If you’re like us. You know...gay,” Aaron said. Daryl jerked back, his entire body moving on its own accord to put some distance between him and Aaron. 

_ “Just give me one reason, one actual reason why.” _

_ “I just...I just  _ can’t _ be with you. I-I’m not like this.” _

His voice rang so loudly in Daryl’s head making him dizzy. He gripped at the counter and took in a deep breath.

“Daryl...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset-”

“Nah...ain’t you man,” Daryl said gruffly. He wasn’t ashamed, hadn’t been since he finally found his big boy pants and finally admitted to not only himself but his damn brother as well. Punches were thrown as well as words but Merle had finally come to realize that he either accepted Daryl for the way he was or lose him completely. And it was all thanks to that little shit Daryl had fallen in love with. Without him, he would have never had the relationship he ended up having with Merle. 

“Jus’ brings up lotta bad memories,” Daryl said softly. There was a hand on his shoulder and this time Daryl didn’t flinch away if anything he pressed against the warmth and swallowed hard, the overflow of emotions threatening to overtake him again.

“Hey, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, you know I won’t speak of it with anyone else. Not even Eric if you didn’t want me to,” Aaron said. Daryl stared down at his scarred hands and couldn't help it. The whine that escaped him was one of a wounded animal and he finally,  _ finally _ let it out. The years of grief coming out in a strangled sob. In the back of his mind, he knew Aaron hadn’t expected this. He’d only asked about Daryl’s sexuality but along with it came talking about  _ him _ .

He wasn’t aware of being moved but the next thing he knew the couch was under him and a bottle of water were being pressed into his hands. Aaron sat close and much like Carol, Daryl was glad for his friend’s presence.

“Who was he?” Aaron asked softly, just barely above a whisper. Daryl looked up at him through his hair and huffed out a breathless laugh.

“He was a lil shit, that's who,” Daryl said, lips ticking into a small thing of a smile. Aaron beamed at him though Daryl could read the sadness in his eyes.

“Daryl, you don’t-”

“Nah, is okay. I haven’t...I never told anyone. Not Rick, Carol...jus’ didn’t think it important. I know he’s gone so why bring it up?” Daryl said glancing down at his hands.

“How do you know he’s gone?”

Daryl shrugged, “Jus’ do. I was stupid, my big brother was doing his final stint in prison after turnin himself in and was gettin out. My-My…” Daryl cleared his throat as he looked up at the ceiling. It hadn’t been legal at the time but they were just as married as Rick had been to Lori. Saying the word out loud after so long made his chest hurt as if there was a boulder sitting right on top of him.

“We lived here, in Virginia. Moved out of Georgia so he could get his degree as some fancy artist or whatever. I told him I was goin back to help Merle out and he begged me to not go. He jus’ had this feelin that somethin was gonna happen and I made fun of him. It was the last fucking thing I said to him too…” Daryl said heaving in a breath, the weight of it all becoming too much. He remembered the eye roll of those huge sea green eyes as his head had tipped up for a kiss.

“Daryl...I’m so sorry,” Aaron said softly. Daryl nodded his head, his shoulders lifting up in a shrug.

“Not your fault man. I was the idiot. I knew about the weird sickness sweepin through Georgia. Jus’ didn’t think it would end up like this y’know? Thought I’d make it back home before it got bad and get him,” he said and then barked out a laugh that was too loud for even his ears, “Well, at least part of that came true.”

Aaron winced, “Did you ever...I mean I know it’s been a long time but did you ever want to try and find him?” 

Daryl flinched, his eyes narrowing as he took in his friend. Was that even possible? Daryl was good at tracking, the best in their community but it’s been years. Two to be exact going by baby Judy’s age. Their house was more than likely still there but to be able to pick out anything to help Daryl track him would be impossible.

And if by some miracle he did manage to find anything, where would it lead him? To a rotting corpse that no longer held the warmth that Daryl craved? Could he even possibly put that walker down at this point? He’d have closure, that was no doubt. But  _ could _ he go through with it was the actual question. 

_ “You’re a lot stronger than you think you are Dixon. You can do anything if you had a little faith in yourself.” _

_ “Mmhmm, you’re startin’ to sound a lot like him.” _

_ “Who?” _

_ “Jesus.” _

Daryl swallowed hard and turned to look at Aaron again, “I don’ know where to start,” he said softly. Aaron squeezed at his shoulder.

“Get some rest, Daryl. Once Eric and I recuperate, we’ll come with-”

“I can’t ask-”

“You’re not asking Daryl. I’m offering and trust me, this is something Eric will want to help you with as well,” Aaron said. 

“Why?”

  
“Because that’s what friends do. What  _ family _ does,” Aaron said and stood up from the couch. Daryl watched him leave, the house going back to that numbing silence. Dragging a hand down his face he got up and headed for the attic. Getting some sleep sounded good and maybe, just maybe his dreams would be good ones this time.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

_ “Dar! Dar!” _

_ Daryl’s head popped up from the engine he was working on and narrowed his eyes to his boyfriend running into the garage. The guys he worked with all snickered, all of them now used to Paul’s antics. Daryl shook his head and quickly wiped his hands on the rag hanging from his back pocket just in time to open his arms for Paul to crash into. _

_ “I got it!” Paul exclaimed bouncing on his toes, making Daryl laugh as the top of his head popped him in the chin a few times. _

_ “You got that scholarship?” Daryl asked leaning back to peer down into those bright eyes that were open almost comically wide. _

_ “Yes! This is going to be so awesome Dar, we don’t have move again and I can quit one of my jobs!” Paul laughed dragging his fingers through his hair. Daryl snorted as the stray ends stood out with the static. He petted down his boyfriend’s hair, trying to calm it a bit. There were a few shouted congratulations from the other guys and Daryl smiled. He had been scared at first, thinking that they would bash him once they found out about Paul but they’d been nothing but accepting. It was weird. _

_ “That’s awesome baby,” Daryl said quietly, his cheeks warming. He tried to keep the pet names and the PDA at bay but it was difficult when Paul was around and looking incredibly adorable with how excited he was. _

_ Paul beamed up at him and hugged him around his middle, “Thank you. Without you...just thank you so much,” he said with a hum. Daryl smiled again and kissed at his boyfriend’s temple. _

This time, the memories of last night’s dreams left him calm, the weight on his chest a little less than it usually was. Any of Paul’s visits to him in the garage always turned out good. Sometimes he’d bring an array of take out food for not only him but his co-workers while other times Paul would be the comedic relief to a particularly hard day. Either way, the other mechanics had adored Paul. 

Daryl shoved another baggie of food into his pack before closing it up and then made his way out the door. True to his word, Eric was all but ecstatic to join them in their adventure. Though Daryl did make them promise they would only go after a full day of rest. It was early morning, the sun just barely lighting up the sky as he made his way over to the truck. The neighborhood he and Paul had lived in was a pretty big subdivision and no matter what, at least they could scavenge the nearby houses. Even though their water and medical shortages were somewhat on an even playing field, the need for food and the more material things were still there. Hell, they might even find a coupon hoarder’s house. 

_ “They’re just tryin to get a good deal on shit Paul, don’ know why ya all pissed off.” _

_ “No Dar, these people are not out to get a good deal. These people are hoarders wanting to empty out shelves to resell it like the greedy bastards they are.” _

_ “Baby, did they take the last of your Gatorade again?” _

_ “Fuck you Dixon.” _

_ “They did, didn’t they?” _

_ “Yes…” _

Daryl snorted at the memory. From then on Daryl always made sure to stock the house with that god awful purple Gatorade Paul loved so much. 

“Morning Daryl,” Aaron said, a soft smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Daryl nodded towards his friend as he threw his pack into the bed of the truck. Eric was already sitting up front, headphones resting around his neck as he looked through something. 

“You tell Rick?” Aaron asked, his eyes flicking over Daryl’s shoulder. Daryl couldn’t help the flinch. No, he hadn't actually talked to their fearless leader. He tried to lie to himself that he simply forgot to. When in fact it was the deep seeded fear that Rick would judge him that stopped him in his tracks each time he tried.

Now though, there was no escape. Rick was sauntering his way over, confusion clear on his face as he stared at not only the truck but Aaron standing near Daryl.

“What’s goin on? You’re not supposed to be goin on a run so soon?” Rick asked. Aaron opened his mouth to speak but Daryl stopped him, his head jerking to the side to get Rick to follow. They stepped a few feet away as Aaron busied himself with a conversation with Eric through the truck’s window.

“Daryl?”

Daryl brought his thumb up to his mouth and chewed on it for a second, avoiding Rick’s eyes as he tried to piece together everything that was going on in his head. For once Rick was patient with him, giving him the few precious seconds that Daryl needed to catch his breath.

“There’s somethin I gotta do Rick,” Daryl said softly, flicking his eyes up before dropping them again. A hand settled on his shoulder and Daryl swallowed hard, “I um, I’m from here. Virginia.”

The hand on his shoulder flinched and Daryl looked up to see the confusion grow even deeper, “I thought you were from Georgia?” Rick asked. Daryl nodded, going back to gnawing on his thumbnail.

“I was. This...this ain't easy for me to say Rick,” Daryl said, his body beginning to twitch and the urge to start pacing running through him. Rick removed his hand and Daryl felt relief.

“It’s just me Daryl. You can tell me anythin, you know that,” Rick said. 

Daryl nodded to that, he knew and believed those words but still, he hesitated. When he opened his mouth what he wanted to say completely got turned backwards until all that came out was a rushed, “I’m gay.”

There was an overwhelming sensation resembling being underwater as his heart pounded so loudly in his ears, his eyes pulsed with it. Rick merely blinked at him a few times before snorting out a laugh, “Yeah? And?” 

It was Daryl’s turn to blink, the intensity of the relief flowing through him at that response nearly making him bend over and throw up. Why the hell had he been so worried? This was Rick fucking Grimes for God’s sakes! The man he protected and killed for while the said man did the exact same thing for Daryl. Something like this wouldn’t come between them.

“Were you really that worried what I would think? I mean hell Daryl, I kinda figured,” Rick said softly. Now that made Daryl pause and flinch so hard he stumbled back. Was it that obvious?

“How-”

“Carol,” Rick laughed softly, his hand clamping down on Daryl’s shoulder again as he shook his head. Daryl wanted to ask what the hell that meant but he already knew the answer to that. He remembered the way Carol had flirted with him in the beginnings of the prison, their friendship finally getting past all the usual anger and his tendency to push everyone away. After he’d turned her down, playfully, their friendship had taken another turn. One of a protective nature. It was vastly different from the one he had with Rick but that woman was under his skin just the same. 

Daryl scoffed and dipped his head down as Rick continued to chuckle. There was no malice behind it and when Daryl met his eyes again there was nothing but fondness there.

“So, that still doesn’t explain what’s goin on here though,” Rick said once he’d finally got the giggles out of his system. Daryl sighed heavily, giving his fearless leader a shrug.

“I had a...I had someone. Before. We lived in a house that I never got the chance to go back to. Wanted to though, just...you know. Closure and whatever,” Daryl explained. A wash of understanding passed over Rick’s face and he nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I get it. Be safe out there okay?”

“Mmm, will do. Figure we could clean out some of them houses too,” Daryl explained. Rick gave him a nod and soon enough Daryl was climbing into the front seat of the truck. Eugene pried open the gate, his hand lifting in a wave as Daryl slowly rolled through. That pissant Spencer was on watch again and Daryl was beginning to assume the guy simply had nothing better to do.

* * *

They were on the road for a total of two hours when Daryl slowed the truck, the decaying sign of the neighborhood pulling at his heart. It had been such a pretty, small community and to see it like this was heartbreaking. 

“This is the place?” Eric asked softly. Daryl nodded, saying nothing else as he drove a bit past it. He didn’t want to roll straight through the neighborhood, there could easily be people inside, the living kind and Daryl didn't want to deal with that. Not right off the bat anyway. The trees surrounding the housing track did little to hide the truck but for once Daryl wasn’t concerned about it. His entire  _ soul  _ was aching to reach the house. Things that were important and took precedence didn’t even bleep on his radar. He was so close and even if he couldn't find a trace of Paul, he’d be able to see him again. There were pictures everywhere in their house, Paul’s need to snap a photo almost coincided with the need to breathe. It wouldn’t be the same but God Daryl couldn't wait. There was one picture in particular, one he took himself that he was dying to see again.

Daryl got out of the truck, only Aaron’s soft voice stopping him to grab up his backpack, crossbow, and crowbar. They tracked quietly along the wall, the small gate in the back of the community already open and hanging on by a thread. It was the access to the alleyway and had been the one Daryl used to escape into the trees when he needed to be alone. Now when he thought about it he regretted doing that. All those hours spent needing to be alone not being with Paul ate away at him. 

Their house wasn’t too far from the back gate and though Daryl wanted to take off in a sprint towards it, he had to take it slow. He wasn’t about to let some stray walker or asshole breather take him out before he got the chance to see Paul’s face again. 

Aaron and Eric stayed close, their steps light even if it sounded much too loud in the quietness of the neighborhood. There were random growls here and there and a few walkers that needed to be taken down but they made it. The deep gray house looked almost untouched and Daryl froze when he saw it. The signs of neglect were there of course but it looked so good to Daryl. 

“This was your house?” Aaron asked. A small whine escaped Daryl’s lips as he nodded. A part of his mind flickered, the image contrast with what he was seeing now. Paul’s bike he always had sitting on the side of the house was gone, along with the one vehicle they shared. In the garage were their motorcycles that Daryl knew one was gone, lost to the apocalypse. A little piece of his heart snapped. Paul’s bike was still in there. If their car was gone, the bike had to still be in there if no one came along and stole it of course. The garage looked intact and Daryl stopped breathing as he rushed to the side door. His fingers shook, the knife in his hand nearly tumbling to the ground as he jimmied the door open. The siding splintered, the door swinging open with a soft thud.

“It’s...it’s still here,” Daryl gasped, rushing forward. Paul’s bike had been much smaller, had to be with how short his husband had been but Daryl made sure it was still just as badass. The poor thing was covered in about three inches of dust but it was beautiful. The dark turquoise and white gas tank matching with the fender. The chrome needed some TLC but Daryl already had plans to spend a day just getting the bike back up to prime condition. There was no doubt in his mind that he’d be taking it back with them, he didn’t care how much room it took, it was going back.

“Oh wow,” he heard Eric exclaim behind him. Daryl’s lips upticked into a satisfied grin and then turned towards the door leading into the house. Surprisingly (but if he were being honest, it really wasn’t all that shocking), the door was locked and Daryl had to work a little bit longer to get this one opened. 

The fact that Paul thought to lock the door behind him as he fled the house made him shake his head. 

Within a breath, he was succumbed by the feeling of being home again. A numbing weight washing over him. The house had been untouched, making Daryl feel incredibly dirty as he stepped further inside. It was confusing, after all these years and nothing seemed out of place. Not even the throw blanket on the couch where Daryl knew Paul slept when he wasn’t home.

There were soft footsteps from behind that he ignored in favor of yanking up that soft baby blue blanket. The dust tickled his sinuses but it didn’t stop him from shoving it up under his nose. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him but it was there, the cologne that Paul always wore. Daryl’s eyes fluttered shut as he hugged that blanket tightly. Oh yeah, that was coming back with him as well.

“Damn, is this him?” Aaron asked. Daryl finally turned to face his friends, not even worrying about how silly he looked. If anyone could understand what he was going through it would be these two. As it was Eric was smiling up at him softly while Aaron pointed to a picture on the wall.

It was the picture Daryl had been desperate to see again. It was a simple snapshot Daryl had gotten of Paul on one of their dates. If he was being honest, it was a horrible picture. The image was pixelated, the resolution his phone had at the time was horrible. But Daryl had taken it himself and Paul turned it into a black and white image to help with the graininess. They'd gone to a bar that night, played some pool, got tipsy and Daryl snapped the photo. Paul was sitting on a chair, head turned to look over his shoulder while that stupid beanie sat on his head and his leather jacket draped over his shoulders. The fact that Paul framed it and put it up on the wall next to all the pictures Paul had taken made Daryl splutter and blush. 

“Paul,” Daryl whispered, his throat locked up so tightly it was difficult to breathe. He yanked the frame off the wall and held it close to his chest. His friends shifted away from him and Daryl silently thanked them. Gently he placed the frame along with the blanket back on the couch, knowing he’d rather cut off his arm than leave either behind. At this rate, they probably should have brought a second truck.

There was nothing else downstairs for him for now so he turned and headed to the second floor. Just outside their bedroom he nearly collapsed. This was a lot harder than he ever imagined but somehow he managed to push open the door. The sheets on the bed were still a mess as if Paul scrambled to get out of the house.

Daryl let his crossbow hit the floor as he closed the door quietly behind him. He needed this moment to himself without any interruptions. If something went down he trusted that Aaron or Eric would call for him but not before. Daryl slowly took everything in. The open dresser drawers, clothes were strewn all over the place. The closet door was still open and Daryl swallowed hard when he glanced inside. One of Paul’s suitcases was missing along with several items of clothing. 

He couldn't remember if Richmond had gotten evacuated, everything had been such a mess when he ran out of Atlanta with Merle. He remembered calling Paul’s cell frantically only to get a busy signal each time. Hearing those beeps still made him flinch to this day.

There were still so many clothes that belonged to Paul in the closet. He couldn’t help pulling them up to his nose. He wanted to take them all, to make a damn nest but that would be impractical. Instead, he turned to his own side and touched at all the shirts he owned. He didn’t know what came over him but he found himself quickly changing into some clean clothes. The feeling of his favorite shirt against his skin making him buzz. There was another suitcase that he shoved his clothes into before dragging it out of the closet. Other items found their way into the case as well. Mostly pictures and that stupid stuffed bear Paul liked to sleep with when things got a little too overwhelming. 

As he was about to leave something shiny caught his eye. At first, his mind played some cruel joke, making him believe something that it wasn’t. When he was able to refocus, he realized that it was Paul’s cell phone. A shock went straight through him. There was no way in hell that Paul would leave that thing behind. Something broke in Daryl’s chest and he fell to his knees. 

Paul hadn’t run because they were being evacuated. No doubt, Paul holed up here...probably waiting for Daryl to come for him. Paul only left because he had to, only taking things that were practical. And a cell phone that no longer received calls wasn’t one of them. Daryl didn't’ know why he took it but he pushed the piece of plastic into his back pocket and snatched up the charger chord before leaving the room finally.

Downstairs Aaron and Eric had made quick work of piling up things that they could take back to Alexandria with them. There was so much canned food Daryl nearly wept with relief. Several cases of water sat next to the growing pile along with any cookware that they could find.

“Oh shit,” Eric said mournfully. Daryl dropped his stuff and hurried over to only to still when Eric held up the unopened pasta maker. It had been a present from one of Paul’s friends. A housewarming gift that they never got around to opening. Daryl didn’t understand the significance of the stupid thing but Aaron hurried over to Eric to comfort him.

“Mrs. Niedermeyer,” Aaron said. Daryl stared at them for a minute before it clicked. He vaguely remembered the woman who had been desperate to find a pasta maker. She’d been one of the many who had been killed during the attack from those damn “wolves”. Daryl sighed softly, giving them a terse nod, turning to give them a few minutes. There was another room that he wanted to go through, nearly forgetting that it was even there in his haste to get to the bedroom. The office sat just off the kitchen and was locked as well. They only secured it when they left, not wanting to give anyone the chance at the weapons they had inside. 

There wasn’t that much but they did have a handgun, ammo and another crossbow. It was primarily Paul’s office, Daryl hardly ever used it. He got the door jimmied open quickly and the musty smell inside made him hack out a few sneezes. This room was filled with Paul’s artwork, mostly his photography but his paintings filled an entire wall. Daryl never understood them but they’d always been beautiful to him. Each one so full of color and life, even now it brought a small smile to Daryl. He gingerly touched each one and then went to study each picture Paul had framed. Most of them were collages, a mixture of images from the many vacations they took. One even held the film strip they had drunkenly stumbled into. Daryl took that frame off the wall and frowned. It was one of those weird floating frame things Paul had loved so much. He had no way of knowing how to get into it so he did the only logical thing he knew to do.

Daryl walked up to the desk and smashed the glass against the corner, freeing the film strip. The door was pushed open, Eric and Aaron rushing in.

“Did...were you the one who made that noise?” Aaron asked.

“Mmhmm,” Daryl hummed holding up the broken frame. Paul would have killed him for doing that. Make him sleep in the damn bathtub again no doubt. The thought made him huff as he looked around again.

“You said his name earlier right? Paul?” Eric asked. Daryl hummed in affirmation again. God, there were so many pictures. He didn’t remember there being this much. Then again, he never came into this room unless it was to go hunting. It saddened him greatly that he never noticed just how much Paul had documented of their life together. 

“This is probably the most adorable one,” Aaron laughed softly. He held up the frame and Daryl instantly felt the heat on his face. He remembered that night. It was the first time Daryl managed to tell Paul he loved him. They were laying in bed after several rounds of sex when Daryl had gazed into those damn hypnotic eyes and just couldn’t hold it back anymore. Paul had cried, mostly out of relief, but both of them were happy. Daryl had fallen asleep in those arms, feeling safe and protected for the first time in his life. He never knew Paul took a picture of it. The image itself was dark and grainy but it was clear as day, the level of  _ love _ in Paul’s eyes. 

“I’ll add this one to the others,” Aaron said softly. Daryl nodded his thanks and continued to take down the pictures he wanted to take with him. This time though Eric helped him remove the pictures so he didn’t have to smash anymore and piss off Paul’s ghost.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check out my tumblr @bugandkitlove for some behind the scenes for this chapter.
> 
> I tried to post them on the actual chapter but photobucket is now tagging pictures which I really don't like.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates, been going through a really rough emotional tidal wave lately.
> 
> Warnings of homophobic language and bashing in this chapter.

* * *

“If I hadn’t known better, I would say you were a survivalist,” Eric teased, dropping down the sleeping bags. Daryl shrugged.

“We liked to camp and stay days out in the woods. Neither of us could cook for shit. Hell, he nearly burnt the house down trying to make macaroni,” Daryl laughed.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

_“Paul! What the fuck is goin on?” Daryl asked crashing into the smoke-filled kitchen. He’d been in the garage working on the bikes when the searing sound of the smoke alarm had filtered through the door. Paul stood in front of the stove, shirt over his nose as he batted at the burners with a damn towel. Daryl hurried over and snatched it out of his hands before the idiot created an actual fire._

_“Baby, there’s no actual fire what the hell you doin?”_

_“There was so much smoke Dar! I-well-shit-I didn’t know what to do!” Paul cried out with exasperation. Daryl snorted, looking at the counter to find the box of mac n’ cheese._

_“I swear to God...you are probably the only person who can’t figure out a box of mac n’ cheese,” Daryl teased. Paul glared up at him and the next thing Daryl knew he was running away as a towel snapped at his ass._

Eric and Aaron both chuckled at the shared memory. Daryl glanced over at the stove that had offended Paul so much the man never went near it again. Resulting to use the microwave for damn near everything. There was an ache, something dull but still there under the surface. Everything had a memory to it. Even to the smallest of things like the damn remote that sat uselessly on the coffee table.

_“Daryl, I swear to my father I am going to dump this entire bowl of popcorn on your head,” Paul grumbled as Daryl flipped through channels like a speed demon. He huffed at his boyfriend and rolled his eyes._

_“To your father? Really?” he grunted finally stopping on some slasher movie he hadn’t see in eons._

_“Hey, you’re the one who keeps callin me ‘Jesus’,” Paul mocked, his eyes going big and challenging. Daryl huffed at him again._

_“Only ‘cause you keep goin on those tirades of yours,” Daryl quipped._

_“Oh that’s it,” Paul laughed, as he tackled Daryl, popcorn flying everywhere._

“Daryl?”

“Hmm? Sorry, just...you know, remeberin a lot,” he said looking around the room again before falling back on Aaron and Eric. Both had soft smiles that Daryl returned with his own. They went about getting things piled up near the front door for when they would leave. Tonight though they were going to feast on several cans of food along with some of the food Carol had snuck into the truck while Daryl wasn’t looking. She was infuriating but God damn he loved that woman something fierce.

They sat in front of the fireplace eating their meal while Daryl shared more stories of him and Paul. The better ones anyway. Ones of their fights, how they first met….those he kept under lock and key. He wasn’t proud of them. It never mattered how much Paul had tried to tell him that it was in the past that they were stronger because they got through that together. Remembering just how he treated Paul on those bad days crippled him with guilt.

“I uh...I think I’m gonna sleep in our old bed if you two are okay down here?” Daryl asked a few hours later. It was late and all three of them were exhausted from cleaning out the house. The pile they had was pretty damn massive and Daryl was thrilled that they would be going back with such a great haul.

“We’ll be just fine down here Daryl,” Eric said with a little smile, his hand reaching out to squeeze at Daryl’s forearm. He gave his friends a nod and then made his way upstairs. The pain was still there but it was less this time as he looked around the bedroom again. It was strange not seeing the pictures where they usually were. He had to remember that they were going home with him, that he would be able to look at them as long and as much as he wanted to. 

He was still in the comfortable clothes he had changed into earlier, something that neither of his friends commented on now that he was thinking about it. Now though he had an urge to change again. He left his sweats but changed out his shirt for one of Paul’s ridiculously large hoodies. One that the two of them snuggled into. The neck was all stretched out from the two of them pushing their heads through, laughing until they were crying at how silly they were being.

“Fuck I miss you,” Daryl sighed, running his fingers over the fading letters on the front. It still smelled like Paul, that delicious cologne he always wore. It wasn’t overpowering like some of those God awful ones were. This had a citrus, spicy tone to it that Daryl loved. He had just pulled down the blankets when he paused. Paul had bottles of that shit, stocking up when the local Walgreen’s had it on sale. 

He crossed over to the ensuite bathroom and dug through the cabinets until he found the still sealed orange box. It wouldn’t last forever and it was completely frivolous but like the pictures and the stupid stuffed animal, this was just something he couldn’t leave behind. 

Again.

There was a nearly empty one in the drawer that he pulled out to spray on his pillow. The closed one he made sure to keep close so he wouldn’t forget it (which was very unlikely) and finally crawled under the covers. He was warm and had the scent of Paul in his nose when he slowly flitted off to a deep sleep.

_Daryl took a long pull from the warming beer bottle in his hand as his ‘friends’ laughed and shouted all around him. His older brother Merle was in the middle of all the chaos, his voice projecting louder and louder to be sure even Mars heard him. Daryl snorted and shook his head, fingers fidgeting at his side for a cigarette. He headed for the door, holding up his pack when one of them, Gary (maybe?) stopped him. The guy was new in their little group of misfits and Daryl still didn’t know what to make of him._

_“Ya leavin so soon?” he asked. Daryl shook his head, held up his pack again and moved around the guy to get outside. The bar was stifling on its own, being around the others increased it tenfold._

_Daryl quickly got a cigarette lit up and pressed between his lips. The nicotine hit his bloodstream instantly and he sighed heavily, letting his head fall back against the brick wall behind him. There was a rustling next to him, his eyes peering open just enough to see a man, much shorter than him with short tawny hair and some stubble on his face approaching him._

_“Hey, you got another one of those?” he said with a sniffle. Daryl looked at him closer and frowned. Even in the barely lit alley, he could see how red-rimmed the guys’ eyes were. Daryl nodded, holding out his pack._

_“Thanks,” he said, fishing one out to push between his lips. Daryl snapped open his lighter and lit it, taking the pack and shoving it back into his pocket. He thought maybe the guy would wander off but no, he leaned up against the wall next to Daryl. Nothing was said between them, just an occasional sniffle here and there. Daryl wanted to ask, something was definitely haunting the guy. The one brief glimpse he caught of his eyes...they were so light, some cross between green and blue._

_“See ya around,” the guy said with a close-lipped smile, his hand raising up in a wave as he turned to leave the alley. Daryl hummed in response, watching him leave without ever getting to ask anything._

_He ended up seeing him several times over the next month. Twice at the same bar and both had gone the exact way as the first. Daryl would be in the alley, the guy who he was now calling Blue in his head would show up. They’d share a cigarette, not say anything and then Blue would leave._

_The other times were just plain weird. Once had been in the actual bar itself and even though Blue never approached him, Daryl could feel Blue watching him. Another time had been in passing, Daryl was walking behind those same ‘friends’ when he caught sight of Blue walking with his own friends. Daryl had been nearly dumbstruck, freezing in his steps. Blue looked completely different, a huge smile on his face as his head tilted back in a loud obnoxious laugh. His eyes were unlike anything Daryl had ever seen before, shifting so quickly between blue and green with the sunlight._

_Daryl stood there for so long that of course, Blue caught him staring. They locked on one another and Blue actually grinned at him. Only half of his mouth quirking up and Daryl jerked, startled that not only he’d been caught but something about that damn look did something to Daryl._

_“Yo baby brother, you get lost or somethin?” Merle yelled out. Daryl ran a hand down his face and quickly caught up with his group, shoving that look Blue had given him deep down in his brain._

_After that Daryl hadn’t seen Blue in over a week. He didn’t understand it, didn’t_ want _to understand why he was so damn restless over it. That smirk haunted his dreams. Anytime he caught himself staring off into space, Blue’s face would flash in his mind. Why the hell he couldn't get him out of his head was beyond him. No one affected him like this, not any of the women he dated and especially not no damn guy. That alone bothered him down to his bones._

_“Hey Daryl, you wanna go out back and smoke?” Gary asked next to him and Daryl frowned. Not once had Gary asked to join him but he just shrugged, letting the guy follow him out back. He half expected Blue to show up though now that Gary was there, maybe he wouldn’t. It shouldn’t have bothered him so much, to miss his chance at seeing Blue. He shoved it down along with the image of Blue’s grin and took a drag out of his lit cigarette._

_Gary was talking his damn ear off, bringing up shit Daryl had no care about. Politics, religion...it was the most Gary had ever spoken around him and Daryl fought the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t share his brother Merle’s views on a lot of shit but even he wanted to hit Gary to shut him up._

_Daryl was about to head back inside when Gary grabbed at his arm and the next thing he knew lips were on his and the stale taste of cigarettes was being shoved into his mouth. Daryl shoved Gary off him and immediately threw a punch at his face, knocking the asshole onto the ground._

_“What the fuck man! I ain’t no goddamn fag!” Daryl shouted angrily. Gary stared up at him in shock, eyes wide and filled with fear. He held up a hand and Daryl snatched at his shirt, shoving him hard against the wall and punching him in he face again._

_There was a sharp gasp behind him and Daryl froze, heart in his throat as he slowly turned his head to find Blue staring at him with wide eyes. The look on his face sent a searing wave of guilt down his chest. Disgust. Pure and unadulterated disgust. Blue shook his head and started to back out of the alley._

_“W-wait,” Daryl called out but it was too late. Blue was gone and Daryl still had his fingers wrapped in Gary’s shirt._

_“Thought you weren’t a fag,” Gary spat out. Daryl pushed away from him, chest heaving in harsh breaths. He wasn’t. He didn’t like men! Then why was the thought of Blue looking at him that way destroying him from the inside. He pulled at his hair before spinning on his heel to hurry out of the alley._

_Daryl was nearly to his bike when there was a shout. The color in his face completely drained when he glanced up. Blue was standing toe to toe with Merle, his brother screaming profanities inches away from Blue’s face. Daryl was frozen to the spot. Merle was a sadistic bastard who would have no problem throttling his own brother for merely sticking up for someone other than their own ‘breed’. Could he sit by and watch Merle beat Blue up though? Hadn’t he just done the same damn thing to Gary?_

_Before he realized what he was doing he was rushing over just as the first punch was thrown. He stopped dead in his tracks as Blue dodged it. Dipped down and backed away with an almost bored look on his face._

_“You’re all the same, redneck white trash,” Blue spat out, those usually bright eyes meeting Daryl’s. He swallowed hard as that guilt came back full force, how he wanted to do anything to wash that look off Blue’s face. There was a movement to Daryl’s right and before he could call out, Merle’s fist connected with Blue’s cheek._

_All hell broke loose. Daryl was having an out of body experience as he watched himself dive in and go after Merle, trying to pull his stone of a brother off of Blue. At one point he managed to shove Merle off and then got punched in the face by Blue. They shared a look as he stumbled back and then Merle was on him again. Screaming whatever fool thing he could think of at the moment._

_Everything became a blur around him, the only clear thing was his focus on Blue. Daryl tried to pull the guys off of him but it was a losing battle and he was starting to get scared that these assholes were going to end up killing him._

_“What you doin baby brother? Sticking up for this piece o’ shit faggot? You one of ‘em now? You like takin it up the ass too? Bet you do you, you lil bitch!” Merle shouted. Daryl shoved him off, his breathing heavy and sweat pouring down his neck._

_“Jus’ let him be! He ain’t done nothin to ya!” Daryl countered. Suddenly there were sirens and Merle stood there glaring at him with such unabashed hatred that Daryl knew everything was going to change from now on. Then everything went black._

_It was hours later that Daryl blinked his eyes open. The walls around him were white and the strong smell of disinfectant clogged up his nose. He had to be at the hospital. Groaning, he moved his head a little and jumped. Someone was in the seat next to his bed. At first, they were just a blur, his eyes caked up with grime. He rubbed at them roughly and finally, things became clearer._

_It was Blue. He sat in the chair, an ice pack to the side of his face while little white bandages crossed over a deep cut in his forehead. Daryl winced but kept quiet. Blue stared at him, blinking slowly until finally, that smirk appeared. The very same one Blue had given him that day that felt so damn long ago now._

_“So...not everyday someone like you becomes my knight in shining armor,” Blue teased. Daryl huffed, shaking his head a little that he instantly regretted._

_“That prick...your brother I’m guessing? Hit you over the head. With what I can’t remember but it knocked you out,” he sighed, pulling his chair a little closer. Daryl sighed heavily, rolling his eyes up to look up at the ceiling. Sadistic bastard. He had known this would happen but yet he still went through with sticking up for Blue. And for what? Now Merle would do anything and everything in his power to ruin Daryl’s life. Probably would get him fired from the one job he’d been able to keep steady in years. All because this guy was in his head. Daryl glanced over at him, breath catching in his throat as those bright eyes met his own. There was no more lingering disgust there, no hatred. Those eyes were soft and filled with something he’d never seen thrown his way. Understanding._

_“I-I’m sorry they did that to ya,” Daryl finally said, his voice rough and sounding as if he swallowed sand. Blue grabbed up a cup and gently held it up to Daryl’s lips. He drank slowly and cleared his throat again._

_“I’m sorry your own brother did that you. I wish I could say this isn’t the first time guys like that-”_

_“Like me you mean?” Daryl asked softly. Blue sank back down in his chair and shook his head, lips pressed tight but there was still a small smile there._

_“Honestly? When I saw you hit that guy, I did. We don't even know each other but I had hoped that maybe someday we could actually speak for once and become friends. Then I ran into those other guys. I never expected you to actually stick up for me, I thought you were going to join them when you walked up,” Blue explained, reaching out but stopped in mid-motion. Daryl didn’t realize he had flinched. There was no one there but them. His fingers shook as he took up Blue’s hand and gave him a timid smile._

_“I figured, maybe I don’t have the whole story about you. That maybe something else went down in that alley-”_

_“He kissed me. Shoved his tongue into my mouth,” Daryl said quickly. The memory of stale cigarettes making his stomach churn dangerously._

_“Oh...yeah. Now that I can understand throwing a punch for. Especially if he didn’t ask first,” Blue said, making a face of disgust. Since it wasn’t being aimed at him, Daryl was okay with seeing it this time. He squeezed at Blue’s fingers and then laughed a little, startling Blue._

_“I jus’...I keep callin ya Blue in my head,” Daryl said, his face heating up a bit. Blue smiled a real smile this time and Daryl was thrown by how attractive this guy was. Never in his life had he found someone so...heart wrenchingly beautiful. It threw him, making his head spin._

_“Aw, well. If it makes you feel any better, I kept calling you Wings in mine,” he laughed softly. Daryl narrowed his eyes in confusion until it hit him. The vest he always wore. Shaking his head, he snorted out a laugh._

_“Daryl, name’s Daryl.”_

_“Hello Daryl, I’m Paul. Paul Rovia.”_

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More memories for Daryl...ended up making myself freaking cry. Sigh.

* * *

Daryl woke the next morning, his eyes crusted over and head feeling like it was about to split apart. He’d woken up multiple times that night, the memories and dreams playing on a loop in his brain. The pillow was nearly soaked with how much he had cried. Maybe coming to the house had been a mistake but then again, it almost just almost was soothing. Like he was finally starting to heal from losing his husband. 

Closure. 

It had been the very thing he’d told Rick why he wanted to come here in the first place and he was getting it. Though the time reel could have gone with more of their better times together rather than the bad. Especially in the beginning of their relationship. 

After he’d gotten out of the hospital he and Paul struck up an actual friendship. One where they talked like normal people and Daryl found himself with more text messages that he knew what to do with. It didn’t take long for those friendly feelings to turn fond and then ultimately to something else that had scared Daryl down to his bones. Not only because he never once in his life ever thought he’d be with a man but what his brother would do to him. 

His brother didn’t remember much of that night, thankfully and had left Daryl alone in the following weeks. Of course it didn’t last and of course, the first time he saw his brother since that night at the bar had been when Daryl finally plucked up the courage to kiss Paul.

_ “Daryl, where do you keep your utensils? I wanna try and make something. Normally I don’t go near a stove but I’m hungry,” Paul muttered from Daryl’s tiny kitchen. His apartment was probably the smallest in the whole complex but he wasn’t one to complain. It got him away from his father and Merle. His own little safe haven to escape to. _

_ “Whatcha wantin to make? We can jus’ order or somethin,” Daryl said biting at his thumb. He didn’t have much in his cupboards, probably some old cereal that he really should throw out one of these days. His cheeks warmed as Paul looked in each cupboard and drawer with an annoyed huff.  _

_ “When was the last time you had a home cooked meal? One that doesn’t require a microwave?” Paul asked quirking a brow at him. Daryl stared for a few seconds before shrugging. If he didn’t eat microwave dinners then he went and hunted for his dinner. Squirrels were always tasty. _

_ “Last night asshole-” _

_ “That wasn’t roadkill either,” Paul countered with his usual head tilt and challenging look in his eyes. Daryl always felt called out and itchy whenever Paul leveled him like that. He hated and secretly, very secretly loved it. No one challenged Daryl the way Paul did, always calling him out on his shit or his bluffs. It was as unsettling as it was comforting in all the strange ways that swirled around in his chest. _

_ “Fine. I ain’t got shit in there though,” Daryl grunted. Paul snorted. _

_ “That’s obvious, so, let’s go to the store then,” Paul said moving around Daryl to grab up his keys to the very shitty Kia that he drove. Daryl hurried over and grabbed them right out of his hand, holding them high so Paul who was slightly shorter than him couldn’t reach. He would not admit how much he thought this little fact was unbearably adorable. _

_ “Daryl! Don’t make me flatten you out again,” Paul warned. _

_ “How am I gonna pay for that shit Paul?” Daryl asked. Something soft crossed over Paul’s face that did dangerous things to Daryl’s heart. He was gonna end up going to the damn hospital again if this shit didn’t stop. _

_ “Don’t worry about it okay? I’m buying cause I’m the one who wants to cook and not eat whatever the hell that so called meat is in your freezer. Now come on, give me my keys you neanderthal,” Paul laughed, reaching on his toes. Daryl smirked, holding them even higher until Paul had to lean up against him or fall. They were chest to chest and Daryl’s breathing became ragged. Paul’s eyes were so bright and still, even this close he couldn't tell what color they were. They shifted so quickly and effortlessly Daryl was always at a loss but never failed to fall into them. _

_ “C’mon you tiny ninja, can’t you get them?” Daryl teased, though his voice was a tad breathless. He hoped and prayed that this wasn’t one-sided, that the heated look Paul was giving him right at that moment wasn’t a figment in Daryl’s mind. He was still questioning his actual feelings for his friend but right then, he wanted nothing more than to experience the sensation of the other man’s scruff against his own.  _

_ Paul never got to answer him. They leaned in at the same time and their lips had barely brushed when the door to his apartment was kicked in. And the fact that his kitchen and family room shared an open space really sucked at that moment.  _

_ Merle stood in the threshold, his eyes murderous as he stared at Daryl and Paul, standing close and it being completely obvious at what was happening. A part of Daryl was furious that this was being taken away from him but the other, the scared kid that still cowered away from his brother flared up so much he shoved away from Paul, making his friend stagger. _

_ “What in the fucking hell is goin on here?” Merle screamed out. Daryl was in a state of panic. Did he deny it? Should he start screaming at Paul like he had at Gary? Both seemed disastrous and made his chest hurt so bad he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. _

_ The next twenty minutes were a blur. Words filled with insults and bigotry, of screams and soon punches were being thrown. Daryl was barely aware of Paul shoving Merle out of the apartment, his own body sprawled out on the floor and blood dripping from his nose.  _

_ Fucking Merle. Having to ruin everything. Even the smallest pinch of happiness he managed to find in his shit world.  _

_ There were warm hands on his arms that he flinched from, staggering up to his feet on his own and keeping a healthy distance from Paul. _

_ “Daryl...are you okay?” Paul asked cautiously, his hands up in what seemed like a pacifying manner. Daryl was pacing, breathing hard and acting like a damn caged animal. He needed to get out of there before he said or did something monumentally stupid and ruined everything. Spinning on his heel he tried to get out the door, to escape but Paul was suddenly there, blocking his way with those damn big bambi eyes of his. It really wasn’t fair how a man could be so damn pretty and dangerous all at the same time. _

_ “Move,” Daryl said, trying to sound demanding. Instead, it came out soft, desperate, his entire body vibrating with the need to run away. Paul touched him so gently, just a mere bush of his fingertips along the skin of his arm and Daryl snapped. _

_ “What the hell do you want from me Paul? This...whatever the fuck this is, ain’t gonna happen,” he shouted. Paul flinched back, the ache slamming so hard in Daryl’s chest making him want to reach out and soothe the guy instead. He hadn’t meant it, didn’t want to lash out but it was all he knew how to do!  _

_ “Daryl-” _

_ Daryl shook his head and turned again, the window of his bedroom led to the fire escape. He’d shimmy his way down and get to the woods that way instead. _

_ “Would you stop for a damn second and just talk to me like a grown ass man!” Paul shouted, quickly following him towards the door. His voice sounded so broken, hallow and it was slowly killing Daryl. _

_ “I already told you man, I can’t do this...whatever the hell this was...it was a mistake.” _

_ “You’re just a fucking coward Daryl! One word from your brother-” _

_ “Shut your mouth, I already told you this ain’t gonna happen so drop it and leave me the hell alone!” Daryl sucked in a shuddering breath. No. That’s not what he wanted. Not what he wanted at all! He never wanted Paul to leave, God why couldn't he just shut up! _

_ “Just give me one reason, one actual reason why.” _

_ “I just...I just  _ can’t _ be with you. I-I’m not like this,” Daryl heard himself say, the lie etching along his heart like a brand. It hurt so much but the words just kept flying out of his mouth with no end in sight. He had to get out of there before he hurt Paul anymore. What had he been thinking? He wasn’t good for a guy like Paul so why did he think he even had a chance? Dixons didn’t get no fucking happy ending, why would his be any different. _

_ “You are so full of shit Daryl,” Paul hissed out, throat thick and to Daryl’s horror, a tear escaped one of his eyes and God, Daryl couldn’t take it anymore. All his defense mechanisms, all the fight went right out of him and he rushed forward to gather the man in his arms. Paul tried to shove him away, it only lasting for a split second before he melted against Daryl’s chest. _

_ “I’m so sorry Paul, fuck I’m sorry,” Daryl muttered, stroking at Paul’s back.  _

Daryl wiped at his cheek roughly and blew out a trembling breath. It had been so rocky between them in the beginning but they got through it. Together. Paul continuously calling him out on his shit whenever he started to doubt himself or question whether or not he deserved any of it. Everything boiled up into another confrontation with Merle where Paul finally put the man on his ass, giving his older brother an ultimatum.

_ “You either accept your brother or lose him. Forever,” Paul grunted, settling his knee down on the center of Merle’s chest, both of his hands locked in Paul’s arms. Daryl watched in shock, awe, and other things that he didn’t want to admit right at that moment. Once again, Merle had burst his way into the apartment while they were getting up to yet another intimate moment. This time though, Paul hit his breaking point, flattening the older Dixon before he could even finish a sentence. _

_ “How dare you put your disgustin hands on me! Get off me you fag-ah fuck!” _

_ “Nuh uh, none of that. You’re not going to show up here and belittle your brother, no more of this harassing bull shit you've been doing and especially no more of this homophobic crap. You either accept your brother or get the fuck out of his life.” _

_ “And what makes you law and jury over my brother huh? You ain’t gonna last that long, Daryl will use ya and get rid of ya jus’ like the rest,” Merle snarled out with a laugh. _

_ Daryl stepped forward, heart in his throat as he stared down at his brother, his entire body shaking with the need to kick his brother in the face. Either that or run. One of the two if not both. _

_ “No. Paul’s right Merle,” Daryl said, clenching his teeth when those steely eyes settled on him. _

_ “And I don’t plan on going anywhere, not unless I’m dead and buried in the ground. Now make a choice before I make it for you,” Paul growled out.  _

To say the outcome of that fight surprised the holy shit out of Daryl would be an understatement. Merle relented, promising he’d be more accepting. And by God he did. The remarks of their sexuality never went away but they were said in jest and not intended to be hurtful. Daryl finally, got the relationship he’d been craving since he was a little kid with his brother. Yeah, he was still a dick but Paul was protected now. Paul was family. All because his little ninja put another Dixon in their place.

Daryl found himself smiling at the memory of coming home one night from work to find Paul, Merle and a few others enjoying a football game. It hit him so hard, the normalcy of it all, he had to excuse himself into the bedroom to break down. He wasn’t used to things like that and it was all because of Paul. 

“I miss you so fucking much baby,” Daryl whispered, pulling one of the framed pictures by the bed. He traced at the lines of his husband’s face and allowed for the tears to flow freely, “Goodbye sweetheart.”

* * *

  
  


They spent the next several days raiding the houses neighboring Daryl’s. One of the trucks sitting in the driveway of a house a few spots down somehow sparked to life after Daryl tinkered with it and now, they had even more space. The haul they would be bringing back was worth the trip and Daryl’s emotional trip down memory lane. 

On day four, they deemed themselves ready to head back to Alexandria. Daryl stared up at the house for a really long time, Eric and Aaron thankfully being patient enough to wait for him. He brushed his hand over the door frame and let out a breath. This would be the last time he came here and it was his last goodbye to Paul. Daryl would never be over him and probably would never move on but at least he got to say goodbye in his own way. 

Turning on his heel he walked over to the extra truck and started it up, following the other two out of the neighborhood.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Daryl was all smiles, well, as smiley as his cranky ass could be anyway. The entire community was buzzing with excitement with the haul they brought in. Rick was beaming, Carl was eyeing several of the new weapons they had found in one his neighbors gun safe. That discovery had belonged to Eric and then Aaron who managed to pick the lock without them having to break it open. They found gold once the door had been pried open. Ammo, assault rifles, silencers, you name it, it was in there.

Not to mention the food. His neighborhood must have fallen hard and quick with the amount they had and just the fact that it seemed like no one tried to raid the place in all that time. Though, with the number of walkers around, Daryl would have stayed far away if he hadn’t had back up. There were more houses they could go back to at another time but for now, things looks were starting to look up.

“This is a mighty good find guys, good job,” Rick said clapping Aaron and Eric on the backs before sauntering his way over to Daryl, “You too brother.”

“Thanks man. I’m jus’ glad we found all we did,” Daryl said quietly. Rick nodded and gently grabbed at his shoulder, guiding him away from the others.

“And...about the other thing?”

Daryl could tell Rick was trying to be careful, to not bring it up if it had been painful. He gave the man a small smile and nodded his head, “Yeah. I uh, didn’ find anythin’ though. No tracks to tell me where he went. Didn’ really expect to though,” he said with a shrug. He pulled out the picture he had placed on the inside of his vest and showed it to Rick.

“Wow, you actually…” Rick grinned and Daryl wanted to hit him, “You looked good cleaned up,” he continued to which Daryl did punch him in the arm.

“Ass.”

“What? Lemme look, c’mon,” Rick snickered, grabbing at the photo carefully, the smile dimming down to something softer, “He’s a good lookin’ guy.”

“Yeah, he was,” Daryl sighed, dragging his thumb over the image of Paul before putting the picture back. He had brought back so many, this one could stay in his vest for now. 

“I’m uh gonna turn in for the day, I’ll pick up my watch shifts tomorrow,” Daryl said. Rick gave him a nod, squeezed at his shoulder, then turned to join the rest of the community to go over the haul. He was about to head back to the house when he heard Eric call out to him.

“Hey Daryl, Aaron told me you found Paul’s phone?” he said quietly. Daryl gave him a short nod and then frowned when a cord was being pressed into his fingers.

“I don’t know what you’ll find on it. Whether it’ll help or make things worse. What I do know is that if it was Aaron, I’d want more than anything in the world to charge it and find out,” Eric whispered, squeezing Daryl’s fingers with his own. Daryl blinked a few times, nodding his head in thanks. 

He hadn’t thought about the phone the entire way home. It was a lump in his back pocket, a piece of plastic to add to the rest of Paul’s shit he planned to keep in a box. Now though, everything changed. What if Paul had left him a message? He found himself tearing across the street, barely waving at Carol as he raced up the steps. His hands shook as he plugged the phone into the outlet by his bed. Thank God there was one. Chewing on his thumbnail, anxiety raced through him as he watched the stupid battery icon slowly blink. The zero percent not changing for what felt like an eternity. 

Daryl nearly choked on his tongue when it finally showed one percent charged. He almost dropped the phone several times trying to turn it on and then it was another wait. The echo of his boots on the wood floor echoed around him, almost as loudly as his heart. Finally, Paul’s home screen came on and he swallowed hard at the image of him and Paul. They’d been on the beach, Paul leaning in for a kiss as Daryl clumsily took the photo. It was crooked and slightly blurry but Paul had loved it. 

Daryl sat the phone down and started to pace again. What if instead of a message, he saw Paul’s last moments? He’d finally know the truth, the question really was, did he  _ want _ to know? He was fine thinking Paul had died fighting, in fact it was the only acceptable way he could see his husband going down. His little shit talking ninja. With all his faults and clumsiness, the man had the utmost grace when it came to his martial arts. He became a whole other being. Daryl had loved watching him practice, wishing he could sparr with the man. He’d tried once and ended up having to go to urgent care for a displaced shoulder. 

“Get over it ya pussy,” Daryl growled at himself and dove at the bed, snatching the phone back up and going through everything. There were voicemails from himself, telling Paul to call him. He looked at the phone log and realized with a tight throat just how many times Paul had tried. The day everything seemed to have gone to shit, Paul had called him over a hundred times. There was no exaggeration, Paul had tried to reach him every other second. 

“Fuck baby,” Daryl hissed wiping a hand down his face. He ignored some of the other stuff, text messages from their friends and the asshole that had broken Paul’s heart right before they had met. Why the guy tried to reach him when the world ended, Daryl would never know. 

Then Daryl went into the gallery. The older pictures stirred the same lurch in his heart as the ones at the house did but the new ones...those sent his mind into a frenzy. There were several videos too. He found the first one and hit play, his breath locking into his throat.

_ Paul sighed, his hand rubbing against his forehead, his eyes not looking at the camera just yet. When they did, they were tired but tinged with fear, “I don't know what to do. Half of the state is getting evacuated, the rest are being told to stay inside until further notice. I want to get the hell out of here,” he said and looked up again, away from the phone. _

_ “I can’t though. Not until Daryl gets back. He’ll find a way. It won’t matter if the roads are closed, he’ll find a way to get back home. I know he will.”  _

Daryl shook his head as the video ended, “Goddammit,” he hissed and hesitated before playing the next one.

_ “I don’t even know why I’m making these. Maybe someday, when all this is over my videos will be part of the history of what the world was like before,” he laughed bitterly. His eyes were red-rimmed and hollow, his hair greasy and tied up in a bun. Paul looked down and let out a breathy laugh, a few tears spilling out before looking up at the camera again. _

_ “I found out today that Atlanta was bombed. I know Daryl...I know he wasn’t there. That he’s still alive and had Merle with him. The two of them together...they’ll make it here. Merle may have hated me in the beginning but that man saw me as family and neither of them would leave me behind,” Paul said, “Fuck.” _

Daryl put the phone down and covered his face. He remembered trying to get back. Merle had wanted to as well then those damn bombs went off. 

_ “C’mon little brother, we’ll steal one of these damn trucks if we gotta,” Merle spat, kicking at their own truck that had decided to break down on the side of the highway. They’d been trying to get through the traffic out of Atlanta for hours. Daryl wanted to throw up. He’d never regret coming for his brother but now, he was miles from Paul and couldn’t reach him. Merle cursed again, his own phone in his hand. _

_ “You can’t get a signal either?” Daryl asked. Merle’s eyes narrowed and gave him a jerking shake of his head. _

_ “We’ll get to him, Daryl. I promised that little shit I wouldn’t keep you away long,” Merle sighed. Daryl swallowed at the lump in his throat and nodded. It always warmed his heart knowing that Merle and Paul talked on their own terms, that they messaged each other constantly. Paul just had that way about him, making everyone around him love him and trust him. Daryl had walked by a few times to hear the two talking about past shit that even Daryl had no clue about. _

_ Fuck he loved that man. _

_ “We gotta get outta here. I-I have to get him Merle, fuck I should have never left!” Daryl shouted, kicking at the truck again. Steady hands grabbed at his shoulders and he was roughly turned to face an iron-faced Merle. _

_ “And we’ll fuckin get him baby brother, we will. I’ll fuckin die tryin, you hear me?”  _

_ Daryl opened his mouth to agree or thank his brother, he wasn’t sure which when helicopters began to fly overhead. Merle’s eyes widened in fear and his hands dropped from Daryl’s shoulders. _

_ “Oh...oh fuck. No man...no!” Merle shouted, hands going up to squeeze at his head. Daryl shouted, asking what the hell was going on when the first bomb fell. Within seconds, Atlanta was on fire. Daryl’s heart seized up in his chest. _

_ “Hey! You guys need some help?” Daryl barely heard the new voice, he was too hyper-focused on the orange and yellow flames exploding out of the city. There was no way to detour out of the mess of traffic now, there was only one way out. He could hear Merle talking to the stranger and Daryl barely caught a glimpse of an old man in a fisherman’s hat. _

After Dale had helped them get the truck up and running, they’d tried to drive off-road. No matter which route they took, something got in their way. They ended up back on the highway and got mixed in with the people at the quarry. Which took him even further away from Richmond, away from Paul. Daryl didn’t regret it though, he would have never met his family otherwise but he should have tried harder though. 

There was another video, the last one and just from the thumbnail, Daryl could see just how bad Paul looked. It was also the longest one. Holding his breath he hit play.

_ “I killed my first man today. Or well, what used to be a man. The entire neighborhood is crawling with them now. I...I think it’s time I have to leave,” Paul sniffled, his head shaking almost angrily, “I don’t want to. This is my fucking home, one that I picked out with my fucking husband. It isn’t fair. We had just started-” Paul let out a shuddered breath and blew out the air in his lungs. _

_ “It’s not safe here. I still believe that Daryl is safe, alive and someday we’ll see each other again. Whether it be in this shitty life or the next. I don’t fucking care. I just want my husband back.”  _

_ “Daryl, if you find this...I love you. I love you so goddamn much Dar. We will find each other. If I could face your damn brother and come out of it unscathed...then not even this fucking apocalypse will keep us apart,” Paul said with a firm nod, “This is Paul Rovia-Dixon signing out. Hope to see you on the other side.” _

Daryl tossed the phone away from him. If only he could believe that was true, that they would find each other again. It was impossible. Even if Paul was still alive, how would he find him? 

One thing Paul had said rang true though, it wasn’t fucking fair.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

Daryl tied the laces of his boots up his shin, eyes popping up when Rick stepped up to where he was sitting on the steps, “You ready for the run today?” 

“Mmm, don’t know why we gotta go though. We just brought back all that stuff last week,” Daryl said with a frown. Rick shrugged.

“It’s good to stay ahead, don’t wanna get that low again. We’ll find somethin good today,” Rick said, winking at him. Daryl rolled his eyes and stood up, following the man towards the car they were planning on taking. Denise came out of the house, handing him the list.

“Pop?” Daryl asked, noticing the messy letters near the bottom, under the line. Denise became a bit flustered and explained something about Tara having a dream about it. He shrugged it off and climbed into the car. After an awkward exchange with Eugene, they were through the gates and on their way. 

“What the hell is Sorghum anyway?” Daryl asked with a snort. Rick shrugged, his fingers pushing at the cd player. Daryl frowned and then groaned when that horrible shit that Rick called music exploded out of the speakers.

“Man...c’mon, not this,” Daryl complained. Rick just ignored him, snapping his fingers purposely off the beat. 

It felt like hours being in that damn car with Rick and his music when they happened upon a gas station, “I doubt there’ll be anythin here,” Rick called after him. Daryl shrugged as he looked around. It didn’t take long to prove Rick right, though, there was a vending machine right outside the door. He bit his lip and went back to the car for his crowbar, slamming it against the front a few times to smash the glass.

“It’s just soda and candy, why the trouble?” Rick asked, keeping his eyes on the lookout for any unwanted attention.

Daryl shrugged, “Ain’t no trouble, plus, the doc wants it,” he said, mentally cheering himself when the glass finally broke.

“Anythin the doctor wants, she gets-oomph!” 

Daryl spun around, his eyes going wide. Some random guy appeared out of nowhere, bandana around his face as he backed away from Rick. Daryl yanked out his gun and aimed it right at the guy’s face.

“Back up, now!”

“Whoa, sorry,” the guy said.

Rick moved up next to him, his Cobra unwavering. Daryl narrowed his eyes at the stranger. There was something off about him but yet...something familiar. Before another word could be spoken, he was getting roundhouse kicked, the gun in his hand flying into the street. Rick got a shot off but by the time Daryl straightened up, Rick was on the ground and the stranger was running around the gas station. 

Daryl quickly followed him, feeling incredibly stupid when he got jumped. They rolled around in the grass, Daryl throwing punches only to hit the air. There was no way Daryl was going to get the upper hand. This guy was too quick. He pulled out a move that he’d learned from Paul, something he wasn’t particularly good at but it was enough to stun the guy and Daryl was able to shove him against the wall. The knife from his pressed against the guy's throat.

“Fuck,” the stranger said and Daryl’s entire body flinched. That voice. Daryl blinked a few times and looked closer.

_ Those eyes. _

The stranger was staring right back at him, eyes set wide and his breathing coming out in sharp gasps. 

It fucking couldn’t be...there was no way. Slowly, almost too scared that if he continued, it would shatter and this  _ stranger _ would disappear. Daryl’s fingers closed on the bandana and gently pulled down.

“Baby…” Daryl gasped. Paul was standing in front of him. Paul Fucking Rovia, his husband was right there and Daryl stupidly still had the knife at his throat. He threw it away and Paul launched himself into Daryl’s arms, the man making a strange noise that sounded like a wounded animal. 

“Daryl...Oh my God...Daryl,” Paul whined and Daryl could only hold him tighter. Paul’s arms were squeezing him, fingers digging into his shoulders and arms hard enough to bruise. Daryl didn’t care, the pain only proved that this was real, that this wasn’t a dream. Paul was really here.

“Daryl! What the fu-” 

Daryl heard Rick shouting but he couldn’t answer him. His voice was locked up in his throat and his entire focus was the feeling of Paul’s body against his own. His breath tickling his neck as the man buried his face there. The feeling of his husband’s heart against his chest, pounding so hard and loud, Daryl couldn’t differentiate it with his own. 

There was a click though and that made Daryl’s eyes snap open. Rick looked torn, his gun lowering and raising a few times. Daryl shook his head, raising up a trembling hand to stop him.

“Paul,” Daryl gasped and the name resonated in his friend, making Rick’s mouth drop open. His brother nodded numbly and turned to give them privacy but Daryl knew the man would also keep watch. Daryl gently moved them until they were in the gas station to give them more cover and it was then he was able to pry the man off his shoulder.

“Tell me this isn’t some fucked up dream,” Paul sobbed. Daryl swallowed hard and cupped Paul’s face, his thumbs grazing over his jaw. His beard was so long now and his hair...it was the longest Daryl had ever seen it. 

“It ain’t a dream baby. If it was, you’d look exactly like you had when I lost ya,” Daryl whispered. Paul keened at that, his body crashing against Daryl’s again.

“I knew...I knew we’d find each other,” Paul whispered, pulling back just enough to gaze up into his face. A small, sad smile pulled at those plush lips as he said, “I see what you mean. You look so different too.” Daryl gave him a small smile, pressing his face against the hand that was now touching his cheek.

“I had no idea when I saw you two approach. When you first spoke, I thought my damn head was messing with me again but then you pulled that move. There was no doubt in my mind,” Paul whispered, laughing a little as a few more tears spilled out, “I’m a mess.”

“We all are sweetheart. Fuck, I’ve missed you so much,” he said pulling Paul back into his arms. They stood there for a long time, holding each other. Much longer than Daryl ever expected Rick to give him. Then again, Rick had been the same with Lori when they first reunited. 

“C’mon,” Daryl said, taking up Paul’s hand to lead him back outside. Rick had his back to them, his eyes scanning the tree line carefully. He jerked at the sound of their footsteps and smiled warmly at them.

“Paul, this is Rick Grimes, Rick this is my husband Paul,” Daryl said. Rick’s smile widened and he eagerly shook Paul’s hand.

“I’m so happy for the both of you,” he said softly. Daryl looked down at Paul who had his signature crooked smile as he nodded.

“Me too. It still feels all too surreal at the moment,” he said and looked around as if looking for something and then turned confused eyes up at Daryl, “Where’s Merle?”

A sharp pang went through Daryl’s chest, much like it always did when his brother was mentioned, he looked down as he heard Paul suck in a sharp breath.

“Shit, Dar I’m so sorry-”

“S’okay, I’ll tell ya about it later,” Daryl said. Paul pressed his lips together and nodded.

Rick glanced between them and slipped his gun back into the holster, “So, what ya doin out here?” he asked.

Paul shifted, “Scavenging.” His husband looked nervous but seemed to relax a little when Daryl squeezed his fingers, “For my community.”

“Where?”

“Rick, c’mon man-”

“It’s okay Daryl. It’s a few hours from here. I have a truck that I’ve been putting things into for the past week or so,” he explained. Rick nodded, fingers rubbing at his jaw.

“You be willing to share that load?”

“Maybe, that depends on what you would be willing to trade with. My community needs things. Ammo, medicine. Food and water we’re doing well on though. We have livestock and our gardens are thriving finally. We’ve even managed to pull water in from a nearby stream,” Paul explained biting his lip. Daryl blinked a few times and then looked over at Rick.

“We have Ammo, we got a shit ton of it now,” Daryl said and then turned to Paul, “Come back to our place and we can figure things out there.” Paul opened his mouth a few times and then nodded.

“As long as I can get back soon, I’ve been gone longer than I originally planned,” he said. 

They piled into the car quickly after that. Daryl was torn between slipping into the back seat with Paul or just having the man sit on his lap. Their hands never broke apart though. Paul had dragged his thumb over his ring finger a few times, his face pulled down into a frown. Daryl shook his head, quickly explaining where the ring was and would put it back on once they got there.

It was a quick affair, getting the truck out of the barn where Paul had hidden it. Rick being difficult like he was, wanted to see what was inside. Paul hadn’t lied or exaggerated about how much he managed to pile in there. There was months worth of food and Rick had snagged up a bottle of toothpaste, his eyes dancing excitedly. Daryl snorted at him and rolled his eyes as Paul laughed, saying he could have that one for free.

This time, Daryl drove the truck with Paul sitting close to his side, following behind Rick on their way back to Alexandria. It was quiet between them, not stifling but Daryl knew Paul had questions. Hell, he did too.

“Just spit it out Paul,” Daryl said.

“What happened? How come you never…” Paul sighed and pulled off his beanie and then his gloves. The glint of his ring caught Daryl’s attention and his chest squeezed painfully.

“Shit fell sideways. We tried to come back but the bombs...we had to get out of there. Got tangled up with a group who had supplies, more than what we had anyway. Every time we thought of leavin, somethin happened,” he explained with a deep sigh.

“We was plannin on stealin a few supplies and getting out of dodge, to get back here to get ya but Merle ran his damn mouth one too many times and Rick handcuffed him to a roof.”

Paul snorted and in the corner of Daryl’s eye, he saw him whip his head around to stare at Daryl, “Whoa, wait. You mean literally?”

“Mmm, had to saw his own hand off to get free. The stupid fool couldn’t wait just a bit longer, I’s comin’ for him but he was already gone. After that, like I said, shit just kept happening. Got pulled further away until somehow, we actually ended up here anyway.”

“Who are these people you’re with Daryl?” Paul asked.

“They’re my family. Rick...Carol...so many others that I’ve actually been with since nearly the beginning. Man I can’t wait for you to meet Carol, she’s gonna trip,” Daryl huffed out a laugh. Carol didn’t know about him or Paul. Hell, no one else did for that matter. Only Rick, Eric, and Aaron. That made him swallow a bit harder.

“What is it?” 

“I um, there’s only a few who know...about me, about you,” Daryl explained. Paul reached out to grab at his hand and squeezed his fingers.

“No one at my community knows about me...well, except Alex,” Paul blanched. Daryl blinked a few times and quickly glanced at his husband whose face had gone completely white. He slammed on the breaks and continued to stare.

“Paul-”

“Daryl I’m so sorry!” Paul cried out, covering his face as his breathing became ragged. Daryl swallowed down the quickly forming lump in his throat and tried to keep himself calm.

“You fucked ‘em, didn’t you?”

Paul was quiet for a moment, the sound of his breathing pulling at every heart string Daryl had but he kept his hands tightly around the steering wheel.

“I’m so sorry. It-It was at a really low point and I was...I was fucking scared that I was never going to see you again. The nightmares were getting out of control and I don’t have what you have Dar! I don’t have someone I can talk to about this, any of this and it just happened.”

Daryl wanted to argue, to start a fight but he took in his husband and nearly threw up at the thoughts swirling around in his brain. Paul was right. He did have people. He just chose to keep this part of himself away from them. Paul never once called this place  _ home _ , it was always community or The Hilltop. He didn’t have friends, they were just people that he wanted to help. Daryl couldn’t even imagine how lonely the past few years had been on his husband, someone who thrived on human contact and having friends. 

“Shh, baby, c’mere,” Daryl said unclenching his fingers and turning to scoop Paul up as much as he was able. The seats were horrible for this but he didn’t care. Paul was trembling in his arms and Daryl did his best to calm him.

Rick’s car caught his attention and he waved. He saw Rick nod his head and back the car up just a few feet to give them some privacy. Later, Daryl would hunt down a buck for his best friend for his patience to which Rick rarely had.

“It didn’t, it didn’t mean anything Daryl. Fuck I’m so sorry,” Paul hiccuped and Daryl gently pried him off his shoulder.

“Are you still seein’ him?” Daryl asked, hating himself for needing to. Paul’s eyes widened and quickly shook his head.

“No. It went on for a couple of weeks but I couldn't do it anymore. He still has feelings for me though,” Paul sighed heavily, his hair a mess as he ran his fingers through it, “I explained to him from the very beginning that it meant nothing more than just sexual release. That I was still in love with you. He pretended to understand but I believe deep down, he thinks he can take your place or whatever.”

Daryl growled at that. He’d spent so much time getting over that particular weakness that to hear someone actually wanting to attempt that, just pissed him off. No one would ever replace him. Not even if he was a damn ghost.

“Do you hate me?” Paul asked softly. 

Daryl’s head jerked, “Nah, never could hate you baby. Not even after you nearly burned the kitchen down,” he teased. Paul huffed out a laugh and Daryl surged forward to kiss him. 

Holy fuck. 

It was their first kiss in years and Daryl whimpered, their mouths quickly trying to devour the other. He’d had dreams in the past of them reuniting. Most of the time it would be soft and gentle, this was nothing like that. It was harsh and biting, Paul’s fingers pulling at Daryl’s hair as they fought to get closer. Paul was in his lap, straddling his legs as Daryl’s hands went under the trench coat he was wearing, searching for that warm skin he craved.

“Fuck, how many layers do you fucking have on?” Daryl gasped trying to get under his shirt. Paul laughed and leaned back to pull open his coat like some creeper. Underneath was a thickly quilted vest on top of a dingy ivory shirt with dual belts crisscrossing around his waist. The knives that were at his hips were long and Daryl wondered how he’d not felt them before. 

“We should wait to do this Daryl. Your friend is right there and we’re in a truck with no space,” Paul sighed, leaning in to press their foreheads together.

Daryl took in a slow breath and nodded, helping Paul off his lap to sit close to his side. Hopefully, when they did get home, he could talk Carol into leaving the house for a few hours. If not days.

They started up the cars and were nearly to the gates of Alexandria when Paul spoke up again.

“Hey Dar?”

“Yeah baby?”

“You love me, right?”

Daryl snorted, the conversation all too familiar and one he would never tire of having, especially now, “You know I do, don’t be stupid.”

“Say it.”

“I fucking love you, you little shit.”

“Good...that’s really good,” Paul sighed, turning his head to kiss at Daryl's shoulder, “I fucking love you too.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end I promise! I do have a few more ideas for this story but if you guys have any please, please let me know! 
> 
> I have decided though that Negan will be in this but vastly different. Maybe it's laziness or maybe I just don't want that kind of angst in this story, lol, either way, his character will still be the same asshole just...will be changing certain events.
> 
> I will be taking a little hiatus from this one so I can get some more written before posting again. 
> 
> Thank you guys!


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

As the gates to Alexandria loomed ahead, the nerves that had just started to calm down in Paul’s belly ramped up to an all new high. He never did get to experience the whole meet the family before the apocalypse started and back then, all he had to worry about was Merle Dixon. Now though, now Daryl had this whole new family that Paul was very shortly going to have to meet. Rick already seemed wary of him and if Paul had to be honest, he really couldn't blame the man. If the roles were reversed he would probably be in the same position.

Even though Paul was swimming in his nerves, Daryl seemed almost giddy. He was fidgeting but not in his usual anxious way. There was a soft smiling gracing his lips that Paul couldn’t help returning each time it was flashed in his direction. God he had missed his husband something fierce. Never in his dreams did he expect for this to happen. He had hoped and prayed for it but recently had begun to truly believe that he would never see Daryl again. Which led him to do those things with Alex. 

He had regretted it the moment it happened but with Daryl sitting warm and very much alive within inches of him, the guilt was tearing at him right next to those oh so lovely nerves. 

He wasn’t aware of the way he was picking at the inside of his wrist until Daryl was reaching over and gently stopping him by weaving their fingers together.

“You got nothin to worry about darlin, they’re gonna like you. No matter what though, it’s you an’ me got it?” he said. Paul breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded. If he was being honest, that had been a constant thought in the back of his head. Would this new family of Daryl’s accept him and if they didn’t, would Daryl choose to stay or leave it all to be together? It was unfair of him to bring it up let alone think it but he couldn't the constant thoughts. Again, if the roles were reversed he wasn’t sure what he would feel about the whole situation.

The car in front of them came to a stop, Daryl touching at the brakes to get the truck stopped as well. There was a wave and then soon the gates began to pull apart. Paul didn’t know what he’d been expecting of the place but it was huge. Much bigger than his own community The Hilltop but smaller than the other two communities he was in contact with. 

They inched forward, Daryl steering the truck down the street a bit until they pulled up to a smaller house, the garage door already opened. Paul could see the shelves inside and determined this must be where their supplies were kept. He was hoping though that they kept their guns in a different location, would be safer that way anyway. 

“Hey, you guys are back early!” A woman’s voice shouted. Paul looked over to see a dark-skinned, muscular woman with dreads that hung below her shoulders approach them. She had a gorgeous smile and the whitest teeth he’d seen in the apocalypse yet. It was then he remembered the fight about the toothpaste and snorted when he saw said package of toothpaste being handed off by Rick. The woman beamed up at Rick and held it to her chest like it was some sort of treasure. These days though, it may as well have been.

“Alright, we still have to sort out most of it but the food towards the front is ours,” Daryl said from behind him. His husband was talking to another woman, this one wearing glasses as she jotted some things down on her clipboard.

“Just this amount is amazing as it is. Daryl, you’ve been outdoing yourself here,” she said, her voice light and bubbly. It had Paul smiling despite himself, especially when Daryl’s cheeks heated up.

“Wasn’t me though, stumbled on somethin more important, truck just icin’ on the cake,” he said, catching Paul’s eyes with a shy smile. Paul returned it and the woman looked at him with her mouth dropping open.

“Oh! Are you the something more important?” she asked a little too gleefully. Paul laughed softly and nodded.

“I’m Paul or Jesus if you’d rather. Mostly everyone else calls me that now,” he said holding his hand out. She grasped it firmly.

“Were you two friends from before?” she asked. 

Before Paul could speak, to say the white lie he’d said so many times before Daryl shocked the holy shit out of him.

“Nah. Paul’s my husband, from before all this shit.” It was said so casually Paul was left standing there, his mouth opening and closing like some fish as he stared at Daryl. Well, looks like they were going for blunt this time around. Paul could go with that very easily. Life was much too short these days to accommodate the straights and not offend the homophobes.

“Oh, oh wow, that’s amazing!” she said brightly. Paul was thrown again but he thought he hid it well as he smiled at her. Daryl saved him from having to reply, his arm going around Paul’s shoulders as he led them towards where Rick and the other woman were standing. 

“That was Olivia by the way. She takes care of our inventory. The pantry and the armory,” Daryl explained. Paul nodded. 

“Jesus, I would like you to meet Michonne,” Rick said, gesturing towards the woman with an open palm. Paul gave her a short wave and nodded in greeting. She was still smiling, though now it was more so to be polite. The box of toothpaste still clutched in her hand.

“Nice to meet you. So, how did this come about?” she asked, looking between Rick and then Daryl.

Rick lifted up a brow as he shrugged, his expression shifting to one of a teasing manner as he glanced at Daryl. Paul looked at his husband as well, grinning wide at the blush on his cheeks.

“Well uh, Paul’s m’husband, from...before,” Daryl said. Michonne gaped at him and then stared at Paul.

“Oh, that makes so much more sense now,” she said and then proceed to crack up with laughter. Daryl spat at her like some angry kitten and shook his head, grabbing up Paul’s hand to drag him away. 

“Where are we going Daryl?” Paul asked, still slightly laughing at Michonne’s reaction. Once Daryl stopped pulling at his hand, they began walking side by side.

“Want you to meet someone and then I wanna be alone with ya for just a little while,” he said. Paul sighed softly, the idea of being able to be alone with Daryl again seemed like a dream, one that had been far out of his reach for far too long. 

They walked up to a two-story house where on the porch a young boy wearing a tattered sheriff's hat had a little girl about the age of two or three on his lap. An open picture book was in front of them and the closer they got, the voice of the young boy could be heard. The scene was entirely too sweet, something Paul would cherish and recall upon on his darker days.

“Oh hey Daryl, you and dad back already?” the boy asked with a bright smile. It was then Paul got a closer look at his face and had to stifle a gasp at the bandage covering his right eye. The boy and Daryl seemed completely unphased by it so Paul reigned in his reaction as best as he could. 

“Yeah kid. Dad’s probably gonna be lookin for ya. Carol inside?” Daryl asked reaching down to first pat the kid on the shoulder and then touch the toddler’s head. The little girl reached for him, whining out Dar a few times. Paul bit his lip to keep from making an embarrassing sound, especially when Daryl scooped her up and proceeded to snuggle her. He had known that kids were one of Daryl’s weaknesses and they were going to work up to adopting if the apocalypse hadn’t have happened.

“Yeah,” the boy snorted, “Making some kind of cookie out of nothin again. Who’re you?” the boy asked suddenly turning his gaze to Paul.

“Oh man sorry, Carl this is Paul. He’s…”

“We were married before all this shit happened,” Paul supplied, giving Daryl a warm smile. Paul was quickly forming a picture in his head that this boy was important and more than likely Rick’s son. 

Carl’s good eye widened and quickly looked at Daryl for confirmation to which he got a quick nod for, “Oh man that’s so cool. I always wondered about that,” he said. Daryl made a grunting noise.

“Was that supposed to mean?” 

“Everyone thought I didn’t know what was going on, that I wasn’t dumb-”

“Nah kid, no one thought you were dumb,” Daryl said quickly. Carl merely shrugged as he got up from the steps.

“I knew what was going on regardless. How Maggie and Glenn would sneak off, sometimes would notice how Shane and Andrea would do the same. But you never did. You stayed by yourself until Carol managed to get to you but not in that same way,” he said. 

Paul watched closely how Daryl’s cheeks burned brighter with each second the kid kept talking. He definitely wanted to meet this Carol, whoever could help Daryl out of his own mind was worth getting to know.

“Like I said, too damn smart for your own good,” Daryl grumbled. 

Paul laughed softly and changed the subject to save his husband anymore embarrassment, “And who is this beauty?” he asked giving the little girl a silly wave. She laughed brightly which brought a huge smile not only out of himself but Daryl as well.

“This here is lil’ asskicker,” Daryl said.

“Oh my God that can’t be her name,” Paul snorted. Carl laughed and nodded, his arms crossing over his chest.

“It was for a while. We...some bad stuff happened when she was born. If it hadn’t been for Daryl, she would have starved. He was the first to feed her and gave her, her first name,” Carl explained. Once again Daryl was reduced to grunting and blushing like crazy. Paul swallowed hard and stared at his husband in awe. 

“Her real name is Judith though. Judith Asskicking Grimes,” Carl said proudly. Paul laughed a little and shook his head. It was appropriate for the times that they lived in. And with Daryl at this little girl’s side, she was going to grow up a warrior in her own right. Paul just prayed he was there to see it.

They chatted for a little while, mostly so Daryl could hold Judith for a bit longer no doubt then they were heading inside. Carl took Judith back and Paul watched as the two of them started off in the direction where they had left.

“Kids hella strong. Used to annoy the shit outta me, gettin into trouble most of the time, messin with my bike but he’s been through so much,” Daryl said softly as he closed the door behind them. Paul sighed softly and squeezed at Daryl’s hand.

“I’m glad he had someone like you in his life. The little girl too. Always knew you were amazing with kids,” he said, smiling as Daryl ducked his face a bit. Daryl tugged on his hand to get them walking again and soon they were entering the kitchen. The woman standing by the stove turned and for a split second, he saw the wary look on her face before it shifted into the fakest smile he’d ever seen. It raised the hair on his neck but thankfully Daryl snorted at her reaction.

“Don’t gotta do that,” he said and moved closer to embrace her. This had to be Carol. The woman Daryl seemed to hold close to his heart just as much as that man Rick. Paul was suddenly nervous. If this woman didn’t like him…

Carol froze for a second and then it was like wiping a board clear. Her face took on a more natural expression and the next smile was more real. 

“Paul, this is Carol. Carol this is….this is Paul,” he said softly. Paul remembered Daryl saying only a few people knew about him and he wondered if Carol was one of them. The two of them seemed to have a silent conversation, a deep understanding of the situation and soon Carol’s face absolutely melted.

“Oh Pookie, you found  _ him _ ,” she said with so much reverence it had a knot forming in Paul’s throat. Carol hugged Daryl again and before Paul could prepare for it he was being engulfed in her arms. It took a long moment for his head to get back in gear and he was hugging her back.

“This calls for a celebration!” Carol said, quickly wiping at her eyes. Daryl gave her a pleading look to which Carol just patted his cheek, “Don’t worry you’ll have the house to yourselves. But I will be back to make dinner! I’ll just prepare it over at the main house so I can get out of your hair,” she said happily. Paul couldn't help feeling that same bubble of happiness and laughed softly. Daryl cursed under his breath that sounded close to  _ damn woman _ and started to pull Paul up the stairs. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Daryl would take the attic as his bedroom but still the swirl of confusion settled in his chest that Daryl would distance himself from the people he cared deeply for. There was a bed in the room and not much else. It didn’t matter. There was a bed. A bed that could easily fit both of them.

They stared at it for a long time and like clockwork, they turned to each other and in a blink, were in each other’s arms. Daryl kissed him as if his very life depended on it and Paul gave as good as he got. He clutched at Daryl’s shoulders, moaning at how much more defined they were under the vest he was wearing. He knew to be careful removing the winged vest but after that, the rest of Daryl’s clothes were fair game.

“Ya wearing too much shit,” Daryl growled, trying in vain to get his trench coat off. Paul laughed breathlessly and took a step back to start stripping his own clothes off. Boots clunked on the floor as belts clanked and clothes made slapping noises as they hit the floor. Paul stood, staring unblinkingly at Daryl’s much thinner form. It didn’t sit well with him how much weight Daryl had lost but it was common now. He was just grateful that Daryl was even alive and very real in front of him. He dragged his hands down Daryl’s chest, his lips lowering down to press against the tattooed name of Daryl’s grandfather.

“Paul,” Daryl sighed. Paul lifted his head and kissed the underside of Daryl’s chin. Daryl wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and Paul returned the hug, pushing his face right into Daryl’s neck.

“Fuckin missed you so much,” Daryl whispered. The sound of his voice wanted to break Paul’s heart all over again and he shook his head, gently prying the man out of his shoulder.

“I missed you too but we’re here now. We’re together okay? Nothing is going to separate us again,” he said his tone firm with the promise. He would kill anything in his path if they even tried to get in the middle of him and Daryl again.

Daryl nodded, that adorable half smile gracing his lips before they were pressing against Paul’s again. The intense rush of arousal was dimmed down now and Paul knew it would be a while before either of them would get worked up again. Instead, he took Daryl’s hand and lead him to the bed where they laid out, Daryl curled up on his chest. Paul held him firmly and kissed his forehead, reveling in the mere fact that he could do this again.

They didn’t speak for a while but something was burning in Paul’s mind.

“Did you ever tell Carol about us?” he asked. Daryl shook his head.

“Then how did she know?”

“I dreamed about you a lot. She knew somethin was troublin me, even from the beginning. She tried to flirt with me at the start but after she realized I wasn’t takin the bait, she became my best friend. She just...she just  _ knows _ me. Half the time we don’t even talk but we still get it,” Daryl explained softly. Paul bit his lip. It was something he saw first hand, their little exchange in the kitchen proved it but still, it amazed him that Daryl was that close to someone. He was damn glad for it though.

“You think she liked me?” he asked, the vulnerability in his voice making him blush. Daryl scoffed and lifted his head.

“She loved you,” he said. Paul rolled his eyes fondly and pulled Daryl in closer.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Remember, this story probably won't have a regular schedule but I needed more Jesus/Daryl in my life. 
> 
> Oh and don't worry, they'll get hot and heavy soon ;O)


	9. Author's Note

I am so sorry I have not posted anything in weeks. This past month and a half have personally been incredibly stressful for me. Things are looking up but I am taking time off from writing until June. I have 2 weeks of vacation coming up and even though I’ll finally be meeting @swlfangirl in person for the first time, I’ll more than likely be writing while there. 

I’m still here, still writing, my stories will NEVER be abandoned. Just have to take an extended break for a bit.

Love you guys.

Sandy.


End file.
